Things I Have Given up This Month

It can be beneficial to give things up for a period of time or even forever, depending what it is. Sometimes habits can be harmful and I, and others, are better off without them. Other times I can get so used to something that I forget to appreciate it or forget what things were like without it. While forever can seem impossible to go without something that has become a habit, a month sounds more manageable. Below are some things that I have been giving up for this month (the best I can).

Complaining

It can feel good at times to complain and get something off my chest. Overall, it really does more harm than good. I have always learned in my psychology classes that complaining about something actually increases the emotion rather than decreases it. For example, I notice when I complain about my husband, I become more angry and remember other things he has done to piss me off. When I recognize this, I can stop and remind myself that everyone is human which means that no one is perfect (including me). I then am able to have more understanding and am more likely to do something that solves the problem rather than escalate it. I have definitely not been perfect at giving up complaining but I have noticed the times when I remember, I am able to move on from what bothered me much quicker.

Yelling at my Child

Like any parent, I find myself yelling at my child, A, at times and end up feeling guilty about it immediately after. I always told myself that I would be the parent that was always gentle and kind and approached situations calmly. Obviously, that is not realistic because no one can raise a child to adulthood without breaking at some point. However, I do yell at A much more than I would like to. With school, work, and other responsibilities, I have less patience than I would like to. Nothing feels worse than when I snap at A because he is trying to get my attention while I am trying to get something done and then his eyes tear up and his pouty lip sticks out. Of course, I have still found myself snapping at him at times, but when I have been able to take a second to consider my approach before taking action, it has felt really good. I notice it becomes more of a learning moment for A and a bonding moment for me when I can get down to his level and calmly talk with him.

Listening to Music in the car

I got to a point where I noticed I was turning up the music in my car so I could avoid my thoughts. While I don't force my family to go without music when I am in the car with them, I have been keeping the music off when I drive to work and back. I notice that it gives me time to be alone with my thoughts so that I can process through them without trying to get other things done or becoming repeatedly distracted. Sounds that are usually drowned out have become more noticeable. For example, I have noticed the chirping sound that signals to pedestrians that they can cross the street and the weird sounds my car makes.

What things are you giving up this month?

• Complaining
• Yelling at your kid(s)
• Listening to music in the car
• Other

You can vote for more than one answer.