Important Insights I've Learned in the Past Year

Sometimes it is helpful to look back and see how far I've come and how much knowledge I've gained. Looking over the past year, there are a few lessons I've learned that have really stood out to me as being highly important and making a big impact in my life. These are things that I am not only glad to have learned for myself, but also things that I hope to teach my son, "A," as he grows up. Below are important insights I've learned in the past year.

Small Efforts Lead to big Results

This is something that I have always heard, but never took seriously. Like, yeah, "small efforts lead to big results," but do they really? Like, is the difference noticeable enough? The answer is yes. This is especially true if the small efforts are consistent. For example, I used to make all kinds of excuses to avoid going outside. Not because I hate being outdoors, but because I dislike socializing and people tend to want to socialize if I am outside for very long. Within the last year, I have decided that whatever the weather is, we would go outside each day if we have the time. This includes snowing, raining, windy, very hot... whatever. It didn't even have to be for very long. I just wanted to make sure that A and I got some fresh air outside each day. What I've noticed? I am MUCH happier. Getting outside can completely change my mood. I noticed that if I spend too much time indoors, especially just being in my house, I start to feel down. Getting outside helps me remember that there is a whole world out there and that nature is fascinating. This is especially noticeable since A is a toddler and finds interest in everything. It really is fun to relive the magic of seeing things through the eyes of a child. A enjoys digging in the dirt, drawing with chalk, being pushed on his scooter, and throwing rocks in the river. Growing up, I LOVED being outside. I am so glad to provide the same opportunity for my son because there is so much interest in technology these days. I would hate to see him grow up without the frequent opportunity to be outside.

People do the Best They can With What They Know

I used to think that some people consistently made poor choices intentionally. I have come to understand that people are just doing the best they can with what they know. This is something that I see in all types of situations, but one thing that specifically comes to mind is the way people parent. Since becoming a parent, I have noticed that nobody is perfect and parenting can be very stressful and unclear at times. Like, what is the right way to parent? Is there a right way to parent? How much television is too much? What's the best way to discipline? What do we need to do to make sure our child grows up to be kind and competent? We all are trying to do what is best with our children. Some of us know the best way to effectively potty train our child, and some of us are just hoping we can get our child potty trained before preschool. Some of us put on shows that we think will bring our child joy, while some of us put on shows that we think will help them learn, and others of us don't put on any television. Is there a right way to parent? No, probably not. Studies teach us that some things can be more beneficial to our children and others more harmful. Most people do not choose to do things that are harmful to their children with the intention of doing harm. People just do what they can with what they know. I would say this is likely true for most people who lose custody of their children too. What I like about this perspective is that it makes people seem more human. If we view the mother who screams at her children and spanks them as someone who dislikes her children or wants to cause them harm, then it is easy to dismiss her as a horrible mother. Instead, if we try to understand that she may be feeling overwhelmed and was maybe raised herself being spanked as a form of discipline, then we can understand that she is human and does not have all the answers, just as the rest of us don't. She probably actually really loves her children and is not quite sure how to manage them while trying to regulate her emotions.

Always Strive to Avoid Stagnation

When I say "always strive to avoid stagnation," I mean it in every sense. In the past year, I have learned that I feel much happier overall if I am not stagnant. As long as I am doing something to be considered beneficial, I feel better than if I hadn't done anything. For example, I very, very rarely have periods of time where I just don't do anything and watch television. In fact, I almost never watch television. Every moment of my day is spent doing something. I'm always doing homework, laundry, dishes, cleaning, spending time as a family, reading a book, or something related to my overall wellness. I found that if I sat on the couch scrolling through Facebook for too long or doing something else that seemed to be more of a waste of time than beneficial, then I would feel lazy and unhappy with myself. Another example would be working towards something more long term. What's the fun in having nothing to look forward to or feel proud of? I've learned that it is always nice to have something to work towards, whether it be a career, higher education, becoming more patient, or developing a new skill. No matter where I am at in my life, I always want to be moving forward.

What important insights have you learned in the past year?

• Small efforts lead to big results
• People do the best they can with what they know
• Always strive to avoid stagnation
• Other

You can vote for more than one answer.