Finding calm in the chaos: Tips I use for dealing with overwhelming situations

Everyone has times when they feel overwhelmed. I have found times like this to be almost unbearable when I did not have a way of coping with them. Over time and with my schooling, I have learned effective ways to cope with overwheling situations. When everything feels like it is going wrong, like I am not sure that I will be able to make it through, I use the techniques that I have found to be helpful in getting me through those times. For me, they seem to work rather quickly and leave me feeling like I can handle most anything life throws my way. Below are things I do when I am overwhelmed.

Take an Emotional Time out

At times when life is feeling like too much and I just want to lay in bed, cry, and sleep for long periods of time, I allow myself to take an emotional time out. By this, I mean that I allow myself a set amount of time to fully experience my emotions, and then I move towards working through them. For example, if I learn someone I know passed away or finances are much tighter than I thought they were, I am usually tempted to allow myself the excuse to crawl into my bed and cry myself to sleep, and maybe binge watch television later if I get to a point where I can't sleep anymore. However, I resist this urge by reminding myself that it will not be healthy for me or my son, A, if I do that. It definitely won't fix the problem and it won't even make me feel better. Instead, I allow myself twenty minutes or so to fully experience whatever it is that I am feeling and cry in my bed alone. Then when the time is up, I remind myself that I will make it through this and life will go on. I do not try to convince myself that whatever crisis I am going through is insignificant, because it does have importance to me. Rather, I tell myself that I won't let it consume me. After I have allowed myself to experience my emotions and continue on with my day, I find I feel much better overall.

Be Kind to Myself

I have learned that being kind to myself, especially at times when I am overwhelmed, can make a huge difference. Before, without realizing it, I would think unkind thoughts to myself, which would make me feel like I had less control of the situation, it was my fault, and something was wrong with me. By thinking kind thoughts to myself in times of being overwhelmed, I find that I am more likely to work towards solutions and have higher self-esteem. Some things that I may tell myself are that I have the ability to work through it if I just slow down and I have survived many situations that I felt were unbearable. I also make myself aware of the fact that no one is expecting me to have all the answers or solutions which helps relieve some of the pressure that I may be feeling.

Recognize the Season I'm in

When it comes to recognizing the season that I am in, I do not necessarily mean the weather. More so, I mean recognizing what may be going on in my life at that point to make me feel more overwhelmed. For example, I know there was one time at the beginning of this year when I was very irritable and struggled to manage my emotions. Even the littlest things would set me off. At first, I wasn't sure what was causing me to act so awful towards everyone and have such little patience. After thinking about it, I realized there was an important date approaching that held a lot of unknowns, the class I was taking at the time was difficult and had multiple large assignments each week, among other significant stressors that happened to fall around the same time. It wasn't necessarily that one thing was overwhelming me, though it seemed like it at different moments. Rather, I was perceiving things to be more significant and catastrophic than they were because I was overwhelmed by the combination of things going on. When I am able to recognize what season I am in, I am better able to understand why I am feeling the way I am and how to more effectively cope with it.

What do you do when you're overwhelmed?

• Take an emotional time out
• Be kind to yourself
• Recognize the season you're in
• Other

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